Facebook as a pack of nails for later tabloid crucifixion
Wednesday, December 26, 2007

So you've almost certainly come across the slightly slimy Meredith Kercher murder hoo-hah, which like many recent news stories (particularly the salacious, kids-killing-each-other one) has featured prominent quotation from the suspects' Myspaces/Facebooks etc, mainly in support of their supposed guilt.

(Incidentally I've been rather taken aback at some of the more unique aspects of the Italian legal system. You know, lack of access to lawyers for days and days, allowed to be held in custody without charge for a year, etc... all of which has passed without any comment in the press, as far as I've been able to tell.)

It's all got me thinking what they'd say about me if I got fit up for a crime. In fact you can bet they'll quote this very post up... so hey, here are my key incriminating social media give aways.

• Identifies as "single" (i.e: a weird loner)
• Although this wouldn't tally with what some other sources might say, which would imply an agenda of deceit and something to hide
• Political views: "Other", which would make a good Roscarch blot for people to cross-interpret, perhaps some kind of crazed anarchist, Nazi, or Nazi anarchist
  
• Quote on Myspace and Facebook "The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend" which not only makes me sound like I enjoy destroying people, but also invalidates any and all support from friends, who are clearly all enemies I was merely conspiring to dismember at a convenient moment
• Left a wall post for friend: "I suggest embracing your inner deadness.YOU CAN'T KILL US, MAN, WE'RE ALREADY DEAD!"
• Just as the general public is preparing to flay me with my own intestines they find the Three Word Stories app on Facebook and the only one I participated in begins "When I murdered I was methodical. Piece by piece, I dissected minds with a clinical cold precision" and my status is upgraded to "truly fucked" with a punishment so horrific as to be unnameable (it involves the sensation of dry poster paint.)
  
• Myspace "about me" reads: "Everything you've heard of me is the slander of the depraved and the clucking tongues of the chattering classes" perhaps implying some kind of hidden truth, and as it's hidden, it's probably incriminating and deathy.
• Photo of me from years ago outside a funeral parlor suggests "obsession with death" is probably long-standing and has been gnawing away at my soul for a long time
• If you ask my friend Alex, he will tell you that as a kid I used to wander around the primary school playground, following the lines that demarcated the football/netball court, muttering to myself. I have no recollection of this but he's very insistent about it. Just putting that out there for you.
  

Labels: CONCLUSIVE PROOF THAT I WILL KILL "AGAIN", facebook, oh, social media

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